The “Voices Made Me Do It” Dress
Fabric: Piece from some very expensive curtains given to me by sister-in-law
Pattern: Based on KazztheSpazz’s Black Smoke Yellow Haze Dress (but I made it wrong!)
Notions: Just thread
Time to complete: 2 hours
First worn: 5th April 2012
Wear again? Yes, once I finish the seams properly
Total price: $0 (£0) Zilch.
The challenge: “Very Important Pieces: This week, we’re sewing with VIP fabric — those very important pieces in our stashes that need to finally see the light of day…”
So this is how it all happened…..
Me: OK, I’m taking a week off Sew Weekly Challenges. I know I’ve said this before, but I need a week off to catch up on life and plan for future challenges. I am definitely NOT doing the VIP stash busting challenge. That will give me two weeks to make my City challenge dress properly, french seams the lot. Definitely not doing anything for this week.
The Voices: Are you quite sure about that? You haven’t missed a weekly challenge yet…. It would be a shame to break that running streak…
Me: Shut up Voices. I need a week off. And anyway, I haven’t got any VIP fabric.
The Voices: Reaaaaally? What about that piece of material you look at nearly every week trying to decide if you can make it into something? You know the one. The leftover bit of your sister-in-law’s curtains…..the bit she asked you to take to the charity shop (thrift store) in case anyone wanted it. The bit you nearly made your Mad Men dress out of except you wanted a full circle skirt…
Me: I don’t know what you’re talking about Voices. I definitely didn’t get it out on Monday and drape it on Betty (Betty Draper my dressform).
The Voices: Yes you did. You even took some pics of it ready for put on Instagram and Absobloominglutely as sneak peeks if you were going to do the VIP challenge….
Me: That’s as well be, but I haven’t got time to make anything now.
The Voices: If you made a KazztheSpazz special you’d have enough material and it would be quick….
Me: Yeah, but knowing me I’d probably get that wrong and sew up the side seams instead of leaving them open and sewing up a channel in the middle for my body…
The Voices: Hmmm this is true. You’re not the smartest of bears…but I’m sure in the words of the great Tim Gunn you could still Make It Work.
Me: No, no, no, no, no…..I’m having a week off…..I haven’t got time.
The Voices: I bet you could make it in 2 hours.
Me: Absolutely not, impossible…..all that hemming and finishing seams…..
The Voices: Bah! Just tell the world that unfinished hems are now fashionable and you meant them to be left that way. Like you did on the Dr Seuss skirt.
Me: Erm, what exactly are you insinuating…..I did mean to leave them unfinished. No, no, no….anyway even if I made it, Goth Child is at school so can’t take my photos. So ha! Stick that in your pipe and smoke it Voices!
The Voices: Right, yeah, so you couldn’t just take the pics yourself like you did for the Freaky Déjà Vécu Dress, and I seem to remember your Parachute Maxi Dress? You have a camera remote…..we’ll let you be silly…..
Me: Don’t think you can buy me over with promises of silliness…..I’m a grown woman. I’m a Chartered Accountant. What makes you think I do silly?
Me: Clearly photoshopped by that Mena Trott. Anyway, I haven’t washed my hair for photos.
The Voices: Oh for goodness sake, backcomb it to death, stick it up in an up-do and we’ll let you do some Crane poses from the Karate Kid.
Me: OK. Deal :)
The Voices: And we might even let you take a pic of you carrying the latest hot fashion accessory, the world’s smallest cat.
Me: Now who’s being silly, there’s no way my cat Luca Brasi would get in a shot exactly the right distance behind me to make it look like she’s tiny and I’m holding her up! Pah! You need to go and have a lie down in darkened room Voices, the Arizona sun is getting to you….