Oona Does It!: silk would (but not this time).
the second week in and i almost bit it.
see them fancy half done pants up there? them there's yoga pants. yes, i thought it would be an excellent idea to have leggings made out of bumblebee-on-crack knit jersey. highly meditative, non? much disturbing of chakra would these pants have caused. had i walked into the joint trying to ohm in these, they would have gently tossed me out on my yogi ear.
but i digress, before i have even properly begun.
this week's oona does it! is brought to you by our Head Chick In Challenge Mena Trott. yes, this is the very first brick she lobbed over my wall– and such a heavy brick it was, my subconscious mind decided it was too much to deal with and found a way to avoid it, with the help of 1,315 miles and a peacock.
how about making your version of probably the best thing ever sewn on television — the gordon gartrelle shirt that denise made for theo on the cosby show?
how about it INDEED, mena. i watched this episode on youtube to try and get some mojo going, and now that i'm sewing, i found much more laughter (and terror) than i did years ago. do y'all remember this episode? were you sewing when it aired? did you just about faint when denise pulled the thread towards her when finishing a seam on the machine? and our theo is quite the fashion hound. it's a gordon gartrelle! he excitedly quips to a bemused bill cosby. check out the details: hidden buttons! flap on the back! two tone pockets! but the REAL thrill is the fabric. pure SILK!
ah, theo. you have the attention span of a gnat, your best friend's name is cockroach, but you definitely know a thing or two about quality fabric. well, at a whopping $95 price tag, dr. huxtable is not feeling mr. gartrelle. he, too, is a fashion critic: it's a one of a kind original design. you make the shirt and burn the pattern. back to the store the designer shirt must go, and theo stares death in the face as his friday date looms (christine expects a gartrelle, natch). enter denise, breezily promising brother theo an exact copy of the silk shirt in two days, for a third of the price. comedy ensues.
now, mena specifies i should be inspired by denise's version. do you see that horror up there? okay. off center. angular. twisted. bunched up. HOT MESS. gotcha. i had a silk shirt– yellow, even– that had gone horribly wrong, much like denise's attempt was destined to. i intended to oonafie this challenge with it, and got this far:
i stared at it on miss fugly for twenty minutes, immobile, before coming to the conclusion that this was entirely mena's fault. was she crazy? she challenged me to make a shirt that, in the end, went horribly wrong. what the what, mena?! denise was also to blame. she did not have the skillz for silk. denise; if we are to believe mama huxtable, she installed the zipper in your last garment, and, um, you forgot the wristholes. (actually, i can relate to that). you should NOT be working in silk.
apparently, neither should i. fancy schmancy silk scrapped, i dove into the trenches of the stash and resurrected the aborted bumblebee pants. i justified this by deciding the stripes in this jersey played with the angular quality waaaaay better than the silk did (and umm, yes, it was easier to sew. ahem).
but lemme hep you to the main reason this shirt went wrong for denise: it was not for HER. first and foremost, sewing something for someone else is an absolute DON'T. girl, theo didn't even ask you! you just up and OFFERED! it makes sense that you sew. you have a very unique style. you must create like a banshee to have as many ensembles as you do. making a mens shirt only throws a wrench in the works. so denise, in your honor, i made a dress. which you should have been doing in the first place. that, or one of your bananas batwing sacks.
maybe it was the spirit of the ruined gordon gartrelle messing with me, but this dress sure did get hacked to pieces. also because, like denise, i quite stupidly offered my help to a friend in need this week, and it was down to the wire. this challenge was in danger of stash trash no less than five times in four hours. on friday, my only day to sew, i hacked waaaaay too much off the hem at the eleventh hour, and because the pattern is so loud, i suddenly had hoochie mama gear on my hands. GOOD ENOUGH, i thought, as i headed into a jam packed saturday. but come sunday morning, the type A in me would not have it. in a last ditch effort i sliced the dress in half across the waistband and reattached the skirt upside down.
the center back neck is the crotch of the yoga pants. just imagine the "legs" dangling down the front, which became kimono sleeves…
and then i pieced and pieced away with remnants. and used the scissors so much they need sharpening.
i'm not sure if it's still hoochie mama, or if small children will think i am a large toy, but i'm happy with it. especially now that the length is agreeable. but mena: karma is a female dog. and it's coming for you. (denise, being fictional, is safe. and she is redeemed anyways, christine pronounces her designer copy hot– it's the new look! and the huxtable household embraces family bliss once more.)
all right, sew weekly: lady katza and mena have been up to bat… who's next???
Have a challenge for Oona? Want her to try to turn a really bad situation (pattern, fabric) into something Oonafied? Then send us an email with your request!