No Dress Left Behind
For something I said I didn't want to talk about, you folks were determined to comment! That's a joke — I appreciate all the feedback! In fact it motivated me to chop up the dress and try to, pardon the cliché, make it work.
The commenters seemed to agree on three main details: lose the sleeves, lose the red belt and introduce the color black somehow. Most folks suggested adding a strip of black fabric at the bottom to add length. That was an idea I was considering until I realized that I really hate how short the bodice of the dress actually was. You can't tell in the original photograph because the belt is hiding it, but the bodice piece basically ended at the top of the belt.
So instead of adding the black to the bottom, I decided to lengthen the bodice by adding a band to the bottom of that piece. In the process, I made it a bit more form-fitting and added a zipper to the back of the dress.
The sleeves were chopped off, as suggested, and I turned it into a halter top (the sleeves became ties). The tie on my right side looks a bit wonky because I think I faced it to itself a bit too low. That's easily fixable, though. I didn't really even notice until I saw the picture.
As far as length goes, I didn't really gain that much but that's okay since I think it works fine with this style of dress.
While the dress certainly isn't one of my favorites, I'm pretty happy with how it turned out. I'm especially happy that I could salvage something that I know I would have never worn again.